Sunday, December 9, 2012

The CDC Says You Shouldn't Drink After Chickens

I think one of my chickens may have had a sip of my wine.  I was out back, doing gross chores, and had put my wine glass down while I did the dirtiest.

-I feel that if a person must clean the waste from other beings, they should have the privilege of drinking while doing the deed.-

Well, I went to get my glass when I was through, and one of the girls was pecking at the wine.  I didn't see the beak actually dip into my vacation in a glass, but I had the sneaking suspicion that she had a taste.  The fact that she later fell off the deck reinforced that thought.

This is not my chicken.  I wouldn't waste XX on a hen.

I should have tossed that glass away, maybe in the test plant I have inside, but it was a pretty full glass and the bottle was almost empty.  Anyway, my kids have been a litmus test for getting a weird chicken disease because they play in the creek that runs through the yard.  If anyone would have come down with Chicken-coli, it would have been them, but they have yet to grow third eyes.  So I drank it.

Even though I consumed the wine, I felt pretty safe.  I diluted that glass of wine with another glass.  The CDC says we are allowed to have certain amounts of lead and cyanide in our drinking water, along with many other very scary things that will kill you if you have too much.  I figured that inadvertently tonguing a chicken by drinking out of the same glass was not exactly good for my health, but it wasn't going to give me scabies either.  I'll find out soon enough.

I have become a human experiment.  I drank the wine for science.

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