Thursday, February 28, 2013

Getting the Last Word

I have a brilliant idea.

But let me set the stage first...

Picture your zany uncle, you know, the one that taught you the 'pull my finger' trick when you were six.  The one that you look forward to seeing because every time, without fail, he brings you the forbidden things.  ...I should put that in bold... the forbidden things.  Like Big League Chew, pop guns, or horror movies.  The one that introduced you to Stephen King stories before The Wizard of Oz.

Then he went to the doctor because he had a headache.

Ten long and painful months later, the family comes together to pay their last respects to the man that once put plastic wrap coated with vaseline across Grandma Pearl's kitchen doorway.

Because he knew that his death was coming, he planned out his entire service.  Having always wanted to travel to Hawaii, he planned the service there, with the request that his ashes be spread at the base of a volcano.  'Pick a nice quiet place to lay me to rest' was his final request.

So there the family gathers, all standing in a tight circle with tears in their eyes.  Someone says some meaningful words, and his brother steps into the middle.  Everything is quiet.  He gently unscrews the lid, and as he tenderly turns the urn to send the ashes back to the earth...

From the depths of the urn, the voice of your Uncle maniacally laughs!  

Voila!  My brilliant idea!  Record a message that will be heard only when the urn is opened and upended!

Think of the possibilities!  'Ow! You just dropped my on my head!' or 'AAAAAhhhhCHOO!'

I think I'm going to talk to a marketing company.  Maybe one that specializes in zombie paraphernalia.  After all, with the obsession recently of everything zombie, who wouldn't want the last word after their death?!

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