Thursday, January 17, 2013

Clear The Roads!

Traveling with children. Without the husband. It should be the beginning to 'Children of the Corn.'    I can't take Valium because I happen to be the only one that is legal to drive.  Damn those laws.

The ride, I'm not afraid of.  It is the one time that I really can't complain when the kids want to become total DVD zombies.  I'm afraid of this...

The bed bug infested room.

Crusty carpets.

The covers that never get washed.

The remote.

but most of all...

which one of the kids gets to sleep with mommy.

We don't have to worry about it on the way home.  We are driving straight through, and I'll have my husband with me, so there will be no ability to say one 'one on the way, the other on the way back'.  But this time...

I am thinking about car camping.  Usually this is cringe worthy, but I'm that kind of pioneer girl, and I can pull it off with two dogs and an elephant if I wanted to.  But it's going to be cold.  Really, really, cold.  In the teens kind of cold.  Camping in the cold is not super fun, especially when it is in the back of a station wagon in a wally world parking lot.  (They let you camp in their parking lot because they know you will come in to use the loo and buy an extra blanket and a Snickers while you are there.)

So I am going to resign myself to a hotel.  Thus, accepting the argument that is sure to come.  Who gets to sleep with mommy?

 I want to just get a king sized bed and be over it, but those rooms cost more.  Especially if you want one.  If you want two beds, then they give you one king, and the two queens are going to be extra.  I know how it works.  I'd do it too if I were the shmo that owned a cruddy hotel chain.

I'd love to stuff them in a bed together, and get my own bed, my own bugs, but I know that won't work.  I won't get a lick of sleep because I'd have to pull them apart all night as they practice mixed martial arts on each other as they slept.

So I'm calling upon all the laws of nature to be on my side.  Please let a mom, preferably one with five year old twins, be working the desk when I call to make the reservation.  She'll understand.  And maybe she'll think I'm a poor single mom and give me an upgrade, whatever that is...

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