Sunday, August 4, 2013

On The Other Hand...

There is a new standard.

A goal to achieve.

The bar is set incredibly high, so women everywhere, we need to focus.

This might be myth.  I may have been told a yarn that has been passed down from generation to generation, only to be the talk of legends but never to be actualized.  My hope, my dream, is that it is obtainable.  

Deafness by orgasm.

Yes, you read that correctly.  Not permanent deafness.  The deafness in this situation is the gold medal.  It is the notarized document, the proof that the mark has been met, possibly exceeded.  It's the pinnacle.

 ...and now for the story as told to me.

A query was made to a friend, who went to school for audiology.  When she was talking about her degree, a co-worker pulled her aside, and told her of the myth.  Apparently it happened to her.  Here is my version of this goddess' tale of pleasure...

'Hey, can I ask you something that has been bugging me for decades?' She whispers in a conspiratorial way, and motions my friend into a dark hallway.  'Sure, what's up?'

'When I was thirteen....I, um, I was masturbating...   You know when you hit that age, and discover that there are sensations that, well, you know.  So, I was holed up in my room, pretending to do homework.  I locked my door, stuffed some clothes into the crack under the door, and tucked myself under my duvet.  My parents were downstairs so I had to be quiet. The duvet was thick and warm, and I started sweating a little.  I'm not sure if it was because of the warmth, being nervous about being caught, or excited for what I was about to do....  but anyway, I got down to it.  And Brooke, (the names have been changed blah blah...) I orgasmed so hard that I went deaf.  I went downstairs later, and my dad started talking to me but all I saw were his lips moving.  I couldn't hear a thing!  For thirty minutes!  I thought I broke myself!  Could that have happened from my orgasm?'

This is when Brooke, with a slight grin on her lips and head in the clouds, told her friend that she had achieved the holy grail of orgasms.

Now for a bit of anatomy.

Apparently, there are little muscles that attach to our eardrums.  When they spasm, they pull on the eardrum.  This is a protective mechanism to shield the inner ear from loud noise bursts.  It happens when you shoot a gun, you loose hearing for a moment because the muscle spasm has made our eardrum less like a drum.

This girl rocked it so hard that the spasm continued for half an hour.

So, now I leave it to you.  I have regaled you this tale of gratification.  Now it is up to you to let the myth become not only legend, but reality.  

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