Tuesday, July 23, 2013

I Wish I Was a Little Bit Taller, I Wish I Was a Baller

My 7yo daughter and I just started reading a Nancy Drew book, we're one chapter in.  She had already read the entire book, but I got frustrated with her because she could barely tell me one thing about the book. I know reading comprehension takes practice, so I wasn't looking for a major plot line.  How about just a character name???


She said there was something about twisted candles.  I didn't get a mensa feeling from that comment, because the title of the book is 'Something, something, and the twisted candles something.'

...I guess you know where her lack of analytic powers comes from.

But after I read this chapter, I realized why.  I also realized that if I had read the Nancy Drew books instead of Stephen King, I would be smarter.  Or at least have gotten a higher score on the verbal SAT.  These books are actually intelligent.  If they were computers, Terminator would be a history lesson, and we would be living under ground.  I know they are considered adolescent literature, but compared to the drivel that I read, and even more to the simple minded adolescent stories that are out today, these books are high brow lit.

So my poor girl, after devouring the simple stories that are today's chapter books, was blown away and left slightly mushy when she read Nancy Drew.  Luckily, kids are pretty squishy, and she regained shape in record time.  I on the other hand, have not been so lucky.  I'm pretty rigid, at least where the brain is concerned.   I wish I could redo the chance I had at growing one of those brainiac kind of brains.  I'm convinced Nancy Drew is the main ingredient of smarty pants kids.

Alas, it was never to be, at least not for me.
Mostly because the second chapter was terrible.

But Nancy did use the expression 'pshaw.'  So I'll give it another chance.  We need to say 'pshaw' more often.  And 'whilst'.  I don't think Stephen King has ever uttered either of those two words, let alone put them in one of his books, but they need to be more mainstream.

Maybe if I use them more often, my brain will grow two sizes.  I think three sizes is a little much, and Dr. Seuss was reaching a little.

So here's my new experiment....

I will finish the Nancy Drew book, and see if I feel smarter.

If I don't, I'll go back to my drivel and leave the brain growing to my daughter.

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